Charisma

The Platinum Rule

You have probably seen many quotes on the Internet that you thought sounded like a good idea, until you begin to consider them from another person's viewpoint and realize that they sound a bit egotistic. The Golden Rule is one of those quotes that we have come to believe in as being a great idea - and it is on the surface.

However, the Golden Rule, "Treat others as you want to be treated" has a fatal flaw: it assumes that all people want to be treated the same way. It ignores that people are motivated by vastly different things.

I saw a quote this week by Travis Bradberry online that proposes a different viewpoint that is not so egotistical. It seems that some people are born likable, i.e. they have a tremendous amount of charisma. But, as it turns out charisma is a learned behavior and anyone can immediately be more likeable with a simple twist of the Golden Rule. If you really want to be liked by others and seen as charismatic, you might want to give it a try and see what happens.

The golden rule says that you should treat others with the same respect you would want to be treated with. However, Bradberry suggests there’s a better approach to take when you want others to like you more:

The Platinum Rule—treat others as they want to be treated.

In doing this you are not treating them with excessive kindness. You are simply extending the courtesy of appealing to who they are as an individual. If someone likes public recognition, give it to them. If they don’t like to be the focus of attention, however, keep them from feeling uncomfortable. You should definitely use the golden rule as a baseline no matter what, but keep the platinum rule in mind for when you get a feel for how someone likes to be treated. And, you will have the opportunity to make someone feel special.

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