A friend shared the quote the other day that Happiness is a State of Mind. The quote is by Steve Maraboli, from Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience in which he wrote:

“Happiness is a state of mind, a choice, a way of living; it is not something to be achieved, it is something to be experienced.”

In Maraboli’s statement happiness is something that a person chooses by living and experiencing life. While I partially agree with Maraboli and my friend, happiness is actually much more than simply what the person experiences. You see, I think most people can truly be happy when there are others gathered around them that are also happy. Most of us need family, friends, and loved ones around us to share our life with to be truly happy.

Yes, it is a common goal for most to be happy in their own life. But, happiness is seldom achieved by just being and it can be achieved, although with some difficulty by almost anyone with the will to do so. And, yes, happiness is the ability to accept what comes your way as your life unfolds and think of it in a way that brings positive benefit to you.

Happiness is most often determined by what you possess in your heart rather than what you experience on the outside. If you depend on others to make you happy, you will be in for a long wait, unless you have the mentality to make lemonade from lemons and to do so consistently.

By living a full, rewarding life and surrounding yourself with others that you love and who love you unconditionally as well, rather than on surrounding yourself with negative people, happiness will find it’s way into your heart much quicker. Once you begin to eliminate the negativity in your life and the people whom bring you down you will know that you are on the right path as you experience the joy of positivity.

As you begin to surround yourself with positivity and people that share a common goal of being happy, the negative people that hold you down are automatically moved away from you or hopefully they are altered by the circular bound currents much like the magnetic field lines of a magnet that emerge from the magnet’s north pole and reenter at the south pole. Yes, you see that others can be changed by your own happiness and make self-correcting habits in their own life to become happy.

For the purpose of finding your way in any group of people you should be drawn to those who are truly happy and reflect away from those at the opposite pole. While we would all like to believe that we can accept people for what they are and have the hope of changing their life to more closely align with ours, in truth our expectations are simply our own. Others may not be capable of change, no matter how much they claim they want happiness. When we find ourselves at a loss to properly attract those who we truly want to make happy, we must come to the realization that we cannot change the world. Accepting someone for whom or what they are is a cliché that doesn’t always work out. Some people simply make poor choices in life and never consider how their decisions affect others.

While it may be disconcerting to disconnect from someone you care a great deal for, if what they bring into your life does little to promote real value and meaning to you, it may be time to reconsider the relationship. Those that do not promote your own core beliefs will cause you heartache, as you grow increasingly aware that their behavior does not match your expectations of what you need and want in your own life. Hold closely to those who make you happy and match your expectations, those who do all the little things that you need and want in your life.

After all, your responsibility to yourself is to have the best possible life and spread positivity to others.

That responsibility includes focusing on the present. If you live with the regrets of the past or needlessly worry about what is ahead of you, you are obviously not in control of your own happiness. By engaging in positive thinking and ridding yourself of the myriad excuses as to why you will be unable to find happiness you can be happy. You’ll only bring about misery as you make excuses to avoid the responsibility of being happy. You, and only you, are responsible for your own happiness.

If you want to truly be happy in life, you should learn to gauge every event and person in your life. Does something or someone bring you joy or does it or their actions bother you. If you have someone in your life who drinks to excess, does not treat you as you would like to be treated, or simply does not meet your expectations, you have two choices. You can have a intervention with them in hopes that they will change or you can move on to your life of happiness. Seldom can you effect change in others to match your expectations. Only they are responsible for making the changes in their own life. Either they will or they won’t, and if they don’t, you should avoid them.

You must be dependent on yourself to find happiness in your life. Being happy and sharing your life with those that make you happy should be the biggest goal in your life. If you are comfortable and happy with yourself, you will be attracted to others who only want the best for you.

Life has a way of throwing things at you that either bring you discomfort or pleasure and by dedicating your time to those things that bring you pleasure, you will be much happier. It really is that simple. Choose happiness in all that you think, say or do. Spread Positivity!