I wake up every morning mentally broke. Yesterday is dead and gone. Nothing that happened yesterday matters today. Yesterday has passed and is unchangeable. I keep only the lessons that I have learned, at least the positive ones; I discard the rest. I do not want to harbor negative thoughts. I have a lifetime of negativity buried deep in my subconscious, and I make every attempt to leave it there, piling as much positivity as possible on top to push it further down into my psyche.
I have thrown away all the love that I have ever received and lost, as I walked away with my head hung in shame at not being successful in love. Past loves are the most difficult to bury. A glimpse, across the coffee shop, at the back of a person who has the same hairstyle and color causes the memory of past loves to rise to the top of my consciousness.
And so, I awake every morning at rock bottom, only to find a starting point for the day. There is joy in knowing that a new day of life presents another opportunity. And, in knowing that there’s just one way left to go. I decide to do today only that which makes a difference. And, it is a decision to make, mine alone. There is no one to tell me what to wear, what to do, or where to go. And thus, my choice is to let go of yesterday, and any negativity that attempted to invade the peace, serenity, and tranquility of my life. Only I get to acknowledge the responsibilities that I have accepted. Each day provides a new opportunity to keep or devoid myself of those responsibilities. What will I keep and what will I let go of today.
If you think that this sounds like I am despondent, think again. Those who attempt to apply personal opinions of life to mine will most certainly get the wrong idea. I am happy and full of life. My health is excellent, both physical and mental. And, most of all I am different than all others because I am myself.
I am not a commodity — and please take no offense — but I do not want to be like all others. I don't need to accessorize my life with a steady stream of material objects to be happy. I don't need read the New York Times or watch the news on television to see what others believe I should be thinking. I don't need to know what I need to buy to feel better about myself.
I don't need a social life to be who I am. But, when I want to enjoy friends and acquaintances, I only have to step out of my front gate, where all of my neighbors know me by name and engage in conversation. Whether it is only to say good morning or how beautiful the weather has been, they are always just a few steps away.
I long ago gave up the endless chase that every action was necessary to bring in wealth, or dressing to impress others. Others seem to have infinite wants in their life. A new car, clothes, a better cell phone, a bigger television, or more modern furniture. And, they will attempt to explain why these things are essential in their life. They believe that if they acquire these things, they will be happy. But the acquisitions never cease, and thus they never find happiness. They will always want more. I am quite satisfied without feeling the need to have more than what I have. All that I need is the blood that I bleed and the air that I breathe.
After a lifetime of searching, I have finally realized that finding peace of mind, being surrounded by peace, serenity, and tranquility is not as difficult as others would believe. They were there all along. Waiting to be discovered, if only the eyes and mind are open to receive them.
A tip of the hat to my friend, Professor Hoffman, for critiquing this article and suggesting some grammatical changes.